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‘They are definitely second parents to me’ – how football host families work
Shortly after signing for Brentford, teenage forward Michel Boni sustained an adductor injury that left him with difficulty walking and kept him out of action for three months.
Having recently moved away from home following his transfer, Boni lacked the immediate support of his family as his development faced a significant setback.
However, he found unwavering support in Tiffany and Steve, a married couple who, just weeks prior, were complete strangers.
The pair are Boni’s host family – individuals who volunteer to welcome young footballers joining a new club into their homes, providing a safe and nurturing environment conducive to their professional aspirations.
“I really needed them and they were there,” the 17-year-old reflects. “I had never gone through that, so it was really difficult. Their reassurance was huge.”
“Having them means I can go home to a safe place, rest, recover, and focus on what I want to focus on.”
How do these host families forge affectionate and trusting relationships that enable young players to thrive at the highest level?
Premier League dreams – when young footballers find new homes
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When Brentford relaunched their academy in 2022, they established a host family program to ensure that players recruited from outside the local area felt supported and well-adjusted, mirroring initiatives implemented by most other Premier League clubs.
Advertisements were placed on social media and delivered through letterboxes, inviting applications from individuals interested in providing assistance to young talents on their journey to potential stardom.
“It’s daunting leaving home at 16,” says Michel. “Being with your parents is all you’ve known. But sometimes you have to make sacrifices.”
“Tiff and Steve are lovely people to be with. When I first arrived, they told me some ground rules, how they want me to be around the house. Now they support me in everything.”
“I played at the GTech Stadium recently with the under-21s and straight away they were asking if they could come and watch. It shows how committed they are.”
“Whenever something is on my mind I feel like I’m able to express myself, talk to them and open up, and they listen. They are definitely second parents to me.”
The selection process for host families is extensive, with considerable planning involved in matching players with suitable individuals.
“When families apply, we look for potential red flags as well as traits that might be beneficial,” says Rachael Abebrese, Brentford‘s host family co-ordinator.
“I’ve developed a natural sense – I can go into a home and quickly know if it will feel warm for a player.”
“We look at their motivations and conduct a very robust report which follows a private fostering approach. It is rigorous.”
“We have a matching process – I get to know a player and get a gist of who they would get along with. Some players will identify things they do or don’t want, like pets.”
“Most of the time it works. The majority of the boys this season decided to stay with their host families, even though they had the opportunity to move out and rent their own apartments.”
Some host family units are made up of a mix of cultures.
Boni and Nate Ogungbemi, the two academy players living with Tiffany and Steve, are British born but their heritage is Ivorian and Nigerian respectively.
The couple have made a conscious effort to understand and embrace the differences between themselves and the two boys living with them.
“It’s just learning and being open to what’s out there,” Tiff says. “In the very beginning we would all talk about religion, politics, culture. I want them to feel happy and safe.
“They have introduced us to their cultures, and we have been trying to offer them food that their mums would do – I’ve tried making jollof rice.”
“My own children have left home and I miss them, but now I’ve got people here that I can care for. Having young people around you keeps you young.”
Every evening in her kitchen in west London, Tiffany comes home from work and sets about cooking a healthy meal for two teenage athletes she has no relation to
Some clubs eschew the host family approach in favour of a boarding system, in which players live together in dormitories on club property, the most famous being Barcelona’s La Masia.
“There are strengths and weaknesses to both models,” says Sam Bayford, Brentford‘s academy head of safeguarding.
“The reason we went with our model is that we want to give the players a real break, a geographical and psychological separation rather than living with and sleeping next to the lads they’ve been training with all day.”
Adolescence is a key time for personal, physical and technical development in young footballers – done right, the management of an academy player’s living situation can propel them forwards.
From age 15 Theo Walcott spent two years living at Darwin Lodge, a boarding house run by Southampton until 2010, which the former England international credits with underpinning his successful career.
Walcott lived at the Lodge alongside players like Adam Lallana, Nathan Dyer, and Leon Best, and shared a bedroom with five-time Champions League winner Gareth Bale.
“Being around the other players all the time I found really hard at the start,” the former Arsenal winger tells BBC Sport. “But the environment was built to be like you were in a proper home.”
“When you have a lot of good players in the same age group around each other constantly every day, you can feed off each other, always willing to do well together.”
“People would act silly sometimes. You would come home and the lights would all be off and you’d know you were in trouble because Gareth and a lot of the other players would be waiting with their underpants on their head and batter you with pillows! You’d have to dart to your room but luckily I was quick.”
“Put us all together in a room even now, it’s like we saw each other yesterday.”
Julia Upson (centre, wearing black and white) was a key figure in the development of Gareth Bale (above her left shoulder) and Adam Lallana (two to the right)
Darwin Lodge was run for more than a decade by Julia Upson, who took care of up to 20 young players at a time, and who Walcott and many others have maintained a close relationship with.
“99% of the time everybody got on, bearing in mind they lived with each other, trained with each other, and then had a match together,” Julia says. “They were funny and always full of life.”
“They all had the same level of care. I think that system is a really good idea – the camaraderie they have with each other is so good.”
“I could more or less tell who would make it as a professional and who wouldn’t by the way they acted at home. The percentage who made it is really small – 2-3% maybe.”
“When one of the boys was released I felt extremely sad. My only wish was that they went on to be good people in all aspects of life.”
Julia has maintained her bond with players including Gareth Bale, who provided her and her grandson with Real Madrid tickets when the family visited the city
Some young players are signed from abroad, presenting even greater potential challenges regarding homesickness and difficulty settling.
“At first it felt very different, but after a while it just becomes your normal life,” says 19-year-old Julian Eyestone, a goalkeeper who is part of Brentford‘s first-team set-up.
He lived with a married couple and their three young children in Ascot after moving to the club from Dallas, Texas in 2024.
“To them I was like their big brother – they wanted to play football in the park, or basketball in the driveway, and they started to come to me with their bickering and their fighting. One of them is even a little goalkeeper at Brentford himself now, which is really nice.”
“From my first day with that family to my last, I was able to focus on my football and not sorry about anything else.”
“I live in my own apartment now but we keep in touch and I bought them all presents and spent Christmas with them last year.”
The depth of the bonds shared by host families and young footballers means the connection often lasts way beyond the end of their careers.
“If I get my pro contract, we’ll see where’s best for me to live – I do want to stay with Tiff and Steve”, Michel says.
“Even if and when I do leave, 100% we’ll keep in touch. They have done a lot for me and I’ll always be grateful for that.”