Britney Spears, fixated on her reflection, wielded an electric clipper with a grim smile.
Locks of her famed long hair fell to the floor of the Southern California salon, each snip documented by paparazzi in what became an infamous 2007 incident. The cameras followed her, buzzcut and all, as she sought a tattoo.
Spears later explained that the act was a response to feeling cornered and humiliated by the paparazzi, who had relentlessly pursued her from the residence of her estranged husband, Kevin Federline.
Amidst a bitter and highly publicized custody battle for their two young sons, the pop icon stated she acted out in defiance, aiming to provide the press with “some material.” She characterized it as an impulsive decision, a public rebuke to a world she felt imposed untenable standards.
In her own words, it was a “desperate move by a desperate person.”
For Federline, however, it served as a stark realization of “just how far things had spiraled out of control.”
Years later, those moments, along with others that defined the pop star’s very public unraveling, have resurfaced in the spotlight. The details of what transpired, and the reasons behind it, depend on the narrator.
Following Spears’s perspective in her 2023 memoir, “The Woman In Me,” Federline is now sharing his account of their years together in a book released this week, titled “You Thought You Knew.”
Similar to Spears’s memoir, Federline’s book delves into their intimate and chaotic relationship, the mental anguish they both endured, and offers an inside look at the conservatorship battle that significantly shaped Spears’s life and career. It presents a parallel narrative, a “he-said, she-said” analysis of their shared history.
Spears, 43, has already publicly criticized her ex-husband’s memoir, stating on social media that Federline’s revelations have been “extremely hurtful and exhausting.”
The dancer-turned-reality TV star asserts that he is releasing “You Thought You Knew” after years of hesitation because he does not want his children growing up “feeling like they have to explain who their father is.”
Federline responds to the stories and accusations presented by Spears in her 2023 memoir, where she describes being financially and emotionally controlled by those closest to her. He contradicts her account at times, introducing new allegations.
Despite offering contrasting perspectives at times, both memoirs share a common goal of reframing the public narrative that surrounded them. They aim to illuminate the events that led to Spears’s conservatorship battle, as well as the nationwide movement that ultimately led to the pop star’s freedom in 2021.
In her book, Spears condemned the court-ordered conservatorship, also known as a guardianship, which she was under from 2008-2021. During that time, her father, Jamie Spears, controlled her finances, career, and many aspects of her personal life.
She maintains that had she been left to live her life, she would have navigated her challenges effectively.
“Thirteen years went by with me feeling like a shadow of myself. I think back now on my father and his associates having control over my body and my money for that long and it makes me feel sick,” she wrote.
However, she added that she resolved to cooperate with the prolonged arrangement “for the sake of my sons,” even though “being in it was really hard.”
Following the termination of the conservatorship, Jamie Spears asserted that it had been “necessary” to protect her, but that it was time for her to regain control.
Federline presents a different viewpoint. Even after their marriage ended, he writes that it was difficult for him to “watch her spiral”.
Federline supported the conservatorship, arguing that it provided “some semblance of normalcy” for their two children. He states that after her psychiatric hold, he immediately filed for sole custody, which triggered a series of issues that exacerbated Spears’s relationship with their children.
He writes that his ex-wife “saw the events in her life through a prism that painted her as the victim, the misunderstood one, the person wronged by everyone around her.”
“But from where I stood, she needed help. Whether that was rehab or therapy, I couldn’t say for sure,” he writes, noting that she was in no state to manage her own affairs and needed some form of oversight or “protective layer.”
He adds that he came to find out that there was a lot he didn’t know about the conservatorship, and he did not push for answers because part of him “doesn’t want to know.”
Spears has credited the viral Free Britney movement with helping her find the courage to challenge and eventually escape her conservatorship.
“The fact that my friends and my fans sensed what was happening and did all that for me, that’s a debt I can never repay,” she wrote, thanking them for standing up for her when she couldn’t stand up for herself.
However, Federline argues that the movement “got it wrong” and that its members should now focus on a “Save Britney movement.” He expresses concerns about the pop star “racing toward something irreversible” and “getting close to the 11th hour.”
He alleges that pressure from the Free Britney movement led the judge in her conservatorship case “to ignore the professional reports and cave to public opinion.”
“But none of that truly mattered in the end. If Britney believed she was being held against her will, and everything else she’s shared since, then that trauma is real for her. And you can’t ignore that,” he says.
Spears has continued to attract media attention with unusual and sometimes worrying posts on Instagram. While their sons are now adults, Federline says they have limited contact with their mother, and do not necessarily desire more. Federline has four other children, in addition to his two with Spears.
Federline admits to losing faith that his ex-wife will fully recover.
“I still hope that Britney can find peace. Whatever her future holds, I hope it’s one where she can finally take control of her own life, on her own terms. This whole saga, twenty years of it, was built on denial. Britney never reached the first step of recovery: admitting there was a problem.”
Spears has placed blame on many people close to her, including two of her exes, Federline and former NSYNC member Justin Timberlake.
She accuses both of undermining her ability to “trust people again.”
In his memoir, Federline states that he was establishing a career as a professional dancer, working with Michael Jackson and NSYNC, when he met Spears.
The couple had met previously when Federline was dancing on a tour for Spears’ opening act.
Federline acknowledges that he is aware of public perceptions, writing that he knows people viewed the Fresno, California, native as “this dude jumped out of his trailer and into Britney’s mansion.”
However, he says that even on the eve of their wedding, a shadow hung over the relationship.
Federline claims in his book that when he and Spears began their relationship in their early twenties, she had never fully moved on from her ex-boyfriend Timberlake, maintaining that they had a lot of “unfinished business” that “lingered, like a ghost in the background of our relationship.”
In her memoir, Spears recounted the challenges of her relationship with Timberlake, including his request that she have an abortion and the public humiliation she suffered after he accused her of cheating. This was further amplified when he cast a Spears lookalike in his music video for “Cry Me a River.”
Their relationship, which spanned from 1999 to 2002, has been analyzed extensively over the years, leading to a public apology from Timberlake after several documentaries about Spears portrayed her as a victim during her conservatorship.
Federline says that “there was always something there with Justin that she couldn’t let go of.” He claims that Spears even called Timberlake the night before their wedding to gain closure.
“Now, looking back… I realize it was deeper than that. She never really got over him,” he writes.
Federline’s memoir has sparked criticism from Spears and her dedicated online supporters.
James Miller, an activist and Free Britney advocate, believes the book will not benefit the singer.
“Britney does struggle with mental health problems, that’s pretty obvious,” he told the BBC. “Exploiting her right now really isn’t the best time. I don’t think there’s any alarm to sound.”
From her early days on The Mickey Mouse Club to dancing with a snake at the MTV Music Video Awards, Spears has lived her entire adult life in the public eye.
S Mark Young, a professor at the University of Southern California and author of “The Mirror Effect: How Celebrity Narcissism is Seducing America,” suggests that Federline’s book is unlikely to alter public opinion of Spears.
“I think after this coming week, the book will die. Most people who follow Britney will not be moved,” he says.
Some have questioned Federline’s motives for speaking out now.
“No one heals when a book like this is written,” Mr. Young says.
Mr. Miller, along with many online commentators, has pointed out that with their sons now over 18, Federline will no longer receive the $40,000-per-month payment from Spears to support them.
Federline denies any ulterior motives beyond a desire to finally share his side of the story.
In his memoir, Federline says the book was his best chance at sharing his side of the story.
For decades, the media, Spears, and her family have primarily told Federline’s story, often emphasizing his “bad boy” persona and making him the subject of late-night jokes.
“This is about finally telling my story,” he writes in his book. “My version. In my words. Because everybody else has done it for me. The media. The blogs. The exes. The strangers. The jokes. The headlines. They all had something to say about me. And I stayed quiet.”
He denies ever “just coasting off her money” and insists he has always been “out there hustling, grinding, investing – working to build a solid foundation for myself and my kids.”
He viewed this as an opportunity to finally share his perspective after years of stories, gossip, rumors, and accusations, which he says he avoided addressing in hopes of providing his family and children with “some kind of normal life.”
“But silence didn’t bring peace,” he writes. “It left me choking on the words I never said.”
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